My story is a legacy of closely-guarded secrets,
a tale that you were never meant to hear.
To tell it, I must take you on a journey of the spirit
to a realm that is beyond the scope of your imagination.
Not of this world, it is a realm where miracles are commonplace,
where time and space are easily transcended.
It is a realm that ordinary humans seldom get to see.
To go there, you must have an open mind...
I am a Witch, descended from a line of gifted Witches.
I see beyond the mundane world of your "reality."
The Ancient Summons in my genes compels me to reach out to you.
I hear the Ancient Summons even now...
So, if you dare, I'll take you on a journey of the spirit
to a place where you will see the truth of who and what you are.
But be forewarned: the truth is not the savior
that you think it is. The truth can be more terrible
than you could ever know...
a tale that you were never meant to hear.
To tell it, I must take you on a journey of the spirit
to a realm that is beyond the scope of your imagination.
Not of this world, it is a realm where miracles are commonplace,
where time and space are easily transcended.
It is a realm that ordinary humans seldom get to see.
To go there, you must have an open mind...
I am a Witch, descended from a line of gifted Witches.
I see beyond the mundane world of your "reality."
The Ancient Summons in my genes compels me to reach out to you.
I hear the Ancient Summons even now...
So, if you dare, I'll take you on a journey of the spirit
to a place where you will see the truth of who and what you are.
But be forewarned: the truth is not the savior
that you think it is. The truth can be more terrible
than you could ever know...
Coming soon...
VOODOO LEGACY I
THE SPIRITS OF THE DEAD
THE SPIRITS OF THE DEAD
Book I in the VOODOO LEGACY TRILOGY will soon be available in paperback. Keep reading for a preview of Book I!
PREVIEW TO VOODOO LEGACY I: THE SPIRITS OF THE DEAD. The following website material has been excerpted from VOODOO LEGACY: A TRILOGY OF HORROR, copyright 2014, Red Triangle Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by an information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the publisher. For information, please Contact Brownie.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
Chapter 1: THE DEVIL'S DAUGHTER
Chapter 2: COLD THEOLA
Chapter 3: LOUD-TALKIN' MILLIE BROWN
Chapter 4: SHOESHINE ANDY
Chapter 5: JENKY JENNY
Chapter 6: TREACHEROUS SERENA
Chapter 7: CHUNKY COUSIN ERNESTINE
Chapter 8: SWISHY UNCLE LATTIMORE
Chapter 9: THE HOUSE OF DEATH
Chapter 1: THE DEVIL'S DAUGHTER
Chapter 2: COLD THEOLA
Chapter 3: LOUD-TALKIN' MILLIE BROWN
Chapter 4: SHOESHINE ANDY
Chapter 5: JENKY JENNY
Chapter 6: TREACHEROUS SERENA
Chapter 7: CHUNKY COUSIN ERNESTINE
Chapter 8: SWISHY UNCLE LATTIMORE
Chapter 9: THE HOUSE OF DEATH
INTRODUCTION
The Spirits of the Dead are all around me.
I used to think that everyone could see them.
They glide among the unresponsive living,
invisible to everyone but me.
Some spirits are the Guardians that watch over the living.
Some spirits are the Scavengers that feed on weaker spirits.
But most of them are simply lost,
drifting through the Nether World.
In many ways, the spirits are
a lot like you and me.
So come with me.
I'll take you on a strange and wondrous journey
to a place where you have never been before.
Come with me,
and listen to my story with your spirit.
See your Light,
and know the truth of who you really are...
I used to think that everyone could see them.
They glide among the unresponsive living,
invisible to everyone but me.
Some spirits are the Guardians that watch over the living.
Some spirits are the Scavengers that feed on weaker spirits.
But most of them are simply lost,
drifting through the Nether World.
In many ways, the spirits are
a lot like you and me.
So come with me.
I'll take you on a strange and wondrous journey
to a place where you have never been before.
Come with me,
and listen to my story with your spirit.
See your Light,
and know the truth of who you really are...
CHAPTER 1: THE DEVIL'S DAUGHTER
The year was 1953 and I was only five years old, but I was old enough to know that I did not belong. I saw things others did not see. I knew things others did not know. I was both gifted and accursed. I was an aberration.
They called me "Devil's Daughter," for my daddy was a white man, and I had the nerve to look exactly like him. I was raised to know that I would never have a place within this world of blacks and whites, for I was neither. The old folks' black eyes wandered, never resting on my face. The other children stared at me with wide, uncertain eyes. My disconcerting whiteness seemed to startle those around me, but what they couldn't see would have amazed them...
They called me "Devil's Daughter," for my daddy was a white man, and I had the nerve to look exactly like him. I was raised to know that I would never have a place within this world of blacks and whites, for I was neither. The old folks' black eyes wandered, never resting on my face. The other children stared at me with wide, uncertain eyes. My disconcerting whiteness seemed to startle those around me, but what they couldn't see would have amazed them...
CHAPTER 2: COLD THEOLA
They called her Cold Theola and they pointedly avoided her, though Mama never knew the reason why. "I'm good and I know I'm good!" she was often heard to say, her chin thrust out defiantly, her beefy arms akimbo.
"Get out my face and don't come back!" Mama shouted angrily, scowling at the empty air, her face a mask of loathing. I saw that she was yelling at a disembodied spirit. It flew towards me hopefully, and I could not reject it...
"Get out my face and don't come back!" Mama shouted angrily, scowling at the empty air, her face a mask of loathing. I saw that she was yelling at a disembodied spirit. It flew towards me hopefully, and I could not reject it...
CHAPTER 3: LOUD-TALKIN' MILLIE BROWN
I woke up with a sudden start to unrelenting darkness on an unfamiliar mattress in an unfamiliar place. Somebody had removed my rain-soaked clothing, and I shuddered, feeling naked in my tiny cotton drawers. A coarse wool blanket covered me, but it provided little warmth, and I began to shiver in the darkness. Suddenly, my mouth grew dry with fear, for I realized that I was not alone.
I heard a zipper murmur on the far side of the room. I heard a sigh, and then a grunt, and then a husky whisper. A shoe dropped, then another, and I heard the padding of bare feet. The mattress groaned as other bodies fell across the bed. My horror escalated as the mattress heaved beneath me. I hugged myself and held my breath and tried to disappear.
The bucking bed grew still at last. The mattress sighed and shifted. A single pair of bare feet padded back across the room. Clothes rustled, and a zipper hissed. A door clicked open, then clicked shut. Two strong arms folded me in warmth, and that is when I panicked...
I heard a zipper murmur on the far side of the room. I heard a sigh, and then a grunt, and then a husky whisper. A shoe dropped, then another, and I heard the padding of bare feet. The mattress groaned as other bodies fell across the bed. My horror escalated as the mattress heaved beneath me. I hugged myself and held my breath and tried to disappear.
The bucking bed grew still at last. The mattress sighed and shifted. A single pair of bare feet padded back across the room. Clothes rustled, and a zipper hissed. A door clicked open, then clicked shut. Two strong arms folded me in warmth, and that is when I panicked...
CHAPTER 4: SHOESHINE ANDY
Millie took me by the hand as we walked south on Central, but what I really wanted was to visit Uncle Andy. It made me sad to know that Uncle Andy was afraid of me, to know that he had never really loved me. Like his pretended perfect life before the blight of Mama's spell, his love for me had only been a pretense. He'd lived a lie, pretending to be something that he wasn't, but I still loved him just as much as ever.
I'd seen the fear in his dark eyes each time I'd gone to visit him. I'd always hugged him, even though he'd never hugged me back. I'd felt his horror at what I was, but I'd pretended not to. Sometimes the truth is merciless. Sometimes a lie is better...
I'd seen the fear in his dark eyes each time I'd gone to visit him. I'd always hugged him, even though he'd never hugged me back. I'd felt his horror at what I was, but I'd pretended not to. Sometimes the truth is merciless. Sometimes a lie is better...
CHAPTER 5: JENKY JENNY
They called her Jenky Jenny and they laughed at her behind her back. Confusion was her loyalest companion. Her husband had abandoned her. Her friends had turned their backs on her. Her only solace rested in the bottom of a bottle.
Auntie Jenny lived in an apartment on the West Side with her daughter and a foul-mouthed bird named Chuckles. Chuckles was a parrot with a penchant for four-letter words. Auntie Jenny didn't seem to know where he had learned them...
Auntie Jenny lived in an apartment on the West Side with her daughter and a foul-mouthed bird named Chuckles. Chuckles was a parrot with a penchant for four-letter words. Auntie Jenny didn't seem to know where he had learned them...
CHAPTER 6: TREACHEROUS SERENA
Treacherous Serena smiled sweetly when she saw me, but I could sense the malice in her heart. I knew that there was something dark fermenting in her damaged soul, something that nobody else could see. Others saw her flawless skin and sultry eyes and silky hair, but I could see beyond her outward beauty. I could see her darkness, a slakeless hunger of the soul, an emptiness the likes of which I'd never seen before...
CHAPTER 7: CHUNKY COUSIN ERNESTINE
She didn't smoke. She didn't drink. She didn't snort. She didn't shoot. But every now and then, she liked to dip a little snuff. Chunky Cousin Ernestine was itching for another pinch when Michael started screaming for attention.
People used to think that Cousin Ernie would become a star, then Mama put a spell on her, and Michael was born damaged. Ernie seemed to blame herself for Michael's cruel afflictions, but I knew Cold Theola was to blame...
People used to think that Cousin Ernie would become a star, then Mama put a spell on her, and Michael was born damaged. Ernie seemed to blame herself for Michael's cruel afflictions, but I knew Cold Theola was to blame...
CHAPTER 8: SWISHY UNCLE LATTIMORE
The first thing I discovered about Swishy Uncle Lattimore is that he wasn't swishy, after all. That was the day I went to Cousin Ernie's house to baby-sit, only to find out that Michael had another sitter. His sitter was a handsome man with bedroom eyes and silky hair - his eyes and hair reminded me of Treacherous Serena. Suddenly, I knew that it was Swishy Uncle Lattimore. I bounded through the open door, determined to save Michael...
CHAPTER 9: THE HOUSE OF DEATH
Most people have a "strange somebody" lurking in their family, an oddball that they never talk about. I thought about my family with its plethora of oddballs, each one of them a strange somebody stranger than the last. Not one of us could be considered what you might call normal, including, and perhaps especially, me. We couldn't seem to get along with ordinary people. In fact, we couldn't even stand each other...
Coming soon...
VOODOO LEGACY II
THE DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRET
THE DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRET
BOOK II in the VOODOO LEGACY TRILOGY will be available soon in paperback. Keep reading for a preview of BOOK II!
PREVIEW TO VOODOO LEGACY II: THE DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRET. The following website material has been excerpted from VOODOO LEGACY: A TRILOGY OF HORROR, copyright 2014, Red Triangle Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photcopying, recording, or by an information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the publisher. For information, please Contact Brownie.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
Chapter 1: ENTERTAINER EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter 2: BAD DOG
Chapter 3: "BROWNIE, IS THAT YOU?"
Chapter 4: MY RELUCTANT LOVER
Chapter 5: CREEPY UNCLE ANDY
Chapter 6: THE JENKY ONE
Chapter 7: ONE BY ONE
Chapter 8: SECRETS AND LIES
Chapter 9: UNCLE ANDY'S REVENGE
Chapter 1: ENTERTAINER EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter 2: BAD DOG
Chapter 3: "BROWNIE, IS THAT YOU?"
Chapter 4: MY RELUCTANT LOVER
Chapter 5: CREEPY UNCLE ANDY
Chapter 6: THE JENKY ONE
Chapter 7: ONE BY ONE
Chapter 8: SECRETS AND LIES
Chapter 9: UNCLE ANDY'S REVENGE
INTRODUCTION
My story is a tale within a tale,
in which the then becomes the now,
in which the now turns into then.
To tell it, I must do to you what has been done to me.
Be still, for to resist me would be futile.
I'll enter you with brutish psychic fingers.
I'll commandeer your mind
until my thoughts become your own.
I'll whisk you back and forth through time
until you've seen what I have seen.
I am the voice inside your head
that will not let you go.
I am a Witch,
a creature of profoundly deep emotions.
My appetites are more intense than those of other women.
Uncivilized, unsocialized, and brazenly capricious,
I always seem to be the odd man out.
Like each of you,
I wonder as I wander through life's journey
if I'll ever find the place where I belong.
I love, I hate, I hunger,
and I know I'm going to die someday.
Perhaps we're not so different, after all...
in which the then becomes the now,
in which the now turns into then.
To tell it, I must do to you what has been done to me.
Be still, for to resist me would be futile.
I'll enter you with brutish psychic fingers.
I'll commandeer your mind
until my thoughts become your own.
I'll whisk you back and forth through time
until you've seen what I have seen.
I am the voice inside your head
that will not let you go.
I am a Witch,
a creature of profoundly deep emotions.
My appetites are more intense than those of other women.
Uncivilized, unsocialized, and brazenly capricious,
I always seem to be the odd man out.
Like each of you,
I wonder as I wander through life's journey
if I'll ever find the place where I belong.
I love, I hate, I hunger,
and I know I'm going to die someday.
Perhaps we're not so different, after all...
CHAPTER 1: ENTERTAINER EXTRAORDINAIRE
The year was 1981, and I was thirty-three years old. By day, I was a CPA. By night, I was a stripper. No one who knew me knew about my disconcerting double life, and that's exactly how I planned to keep it.
I'd lived a lie for eighteen years. I'd changed my name obsessively. I'd lived a solitary life, a life without attachments. I'd lived in many places, but I'd never really had a home. Then I became the mother of a little girl named Maggie.
The truth is, I still lived a lie, but Maggie had become my truth. Her real mother sold her for a bag of crack cocaine. I rescued little Maggie from the pimp who would have turned her out, but what I had to do to him - well, that's another story...
I'd lived a lie for eighteen years. I'd changed my name obsessively. I'd lived a solitary life, a life without attachments. I'd lived in many places, but I'd never really had a home. Then I became the mother of a little girl named Maggie.
The truth is, I still lived a lie, but Maggie had become my truth. Her real mother sold her for a bag of crack cocaine. I rescued little Maggie from the pimp who would have turned her out, but what I had to do to him - well, that's another story...
CHAPTER 2: BAD DOG
Awake, I was a CPA, a mother, and a stripper. But sometimes when I slept, my ruthless legacy took over. My roots came back to haunt me through a rusty voice inside my head, a churlish, discontented voice that would not let me go. It entered me with brutish psychic fingers. It commandeered my mind until its thoughts became my own. It whisked me back and forth through time until I saw what it had seen. I knew that to resist it would be futile...
Perfection woke up suddenly in hot, foul-smelling darkness with no memory of who or what she was. The past that had defined her was forgotten, and her mind, stripped of its memories, began to fill with horror. She had no sense of where she was or how she'd come to be there. She had no recollection of the things she'd said or done. She only knew her name, which was Perfection, and she held onto this simple truth to keep from going mad.
The sounds and smells of unseen creatures made Perfection shiver, even as the humid air drew moisture from her pores. Her breath escaped in shallow gasps of escalating terror as she stared, unseeing, into inky blackness. Her legs were numb beneath her and her mouth was cotton-dry from fear. Her back was pressed against a splintery wall. She tried to stretch her arms out to explore the space around her, but her wrists bore heavy manacles attached to unseen chains...
Perfection woke up suddenly in hot, foul-smelling darkness with no memory of who or what she was. The past that had defined her was forgotten, and her mind, stripped of its memories, began to fill with horror. She had no sense of where she was or how she'd come to be there. She had no recollection of the things she'd said or done. She only knew her name, which was Perfection, and she held onto this simple truth to keep from going mad.
The sounds and smells of unseen creatures made Perfection shiver, even as the humid air drew moisture from her pores. Her breath escaped in shallow gasps of escalating terror as she stared, unseeing, into inky blackness. Her legs were numb beneath her and her mouth was cotton-dry from fear. Her back was pressed against a splintery wall. She tried to stretch her arms out to explore the space around her, but her wrists bore heavy manacles attached to unseen chains...
CHAPTER 3: "BROWNIE, IS THAT YOU?"
"Brownie, is that you?" had been the theme of chilling nightmares in which someone from my past had somehow found me. By day, my name was Jasmine Lee. By night, they called me Pussy M. But in my haunted dreams, I was a little girl named Brownie.
When you live a lie, the truth becomes the thing you fear the most. When you live a lie, your past becomes your darkest secret. When you live a lie, a stranger's idle stare can make you sweat. I was sweating now, though chills raced up and down my spine.
I stared into the woman's eyes, the one who'd asked that question. I trembled as her kindly eyes lit up with recognition. This was not a nightmare, this was real. Cousin Ernie wept with joy and threw her arms around me...
When you live a lie, the truth becomes the thing you fear the most. When you live a lie, your past becomes your darkest secret. When you live a lie, a stranger's idle stare can make you sweat. I was sweating now, though chills raced up and down my spine.
I stared into the woman's eyes, the one who'd asked that question. I trembled as her kindly eyes lit up with recognition. This was not a nightmare, this was real. Cousin Ernie wept with joy and threw her arms around me...
CHAPTER 4: MY RELUCTANT LOVER
Of course, I knew he didn't want to love me. To fall in love with me would bring him heartache and disgrace. I tossed and turned, remembering the manly scent of his cologne. Then I smelled Papa's rotting flesh. I shuddered with revulsion.
The old man would come back again, and then again, and then again. I knew that he'd come back until I gave him what he wanted. He'd linger in his rotting shell and haunt me with his memories. He'd fill my mind with visions, just as he was doing now...
Dorie Annie shuddered as the white man swaggered towards her, but she'd known that he would come for her as other men had done. One by one, the randy hands had crept into her narrow stall when she'd been chained and helpless in the stinking mule shed. Since she'd started picking, Ben had kept the other hands at bay, but she had learned that Ben could not protect her from a white man. Ben had had to close his eyes, pretending to be fast asleep when Master came to poke her in the middle of the night...
The old man would come back again, and then again, and then again. I knew that he'd come back until I gave him what he wanted. He'd linger in his rotting shell and haunt me with his memories. He'd fill my mind with visions, just as he was doing now...
Dorie Annie shuddered as the white man swaggered towards her, but she'd known that he would come for her as other men had done. One by one, the randy hands had crept into her narrow stall when she'd been chained and helpless in the stinking mule shed. Since she'd started picking, Ben had kept the other hands at bay, but she had learned that Ben could not protect her from a white man. Ben had had to close his eyes, pretending to be fast asleep when Master came to poke her in the middle of the night...
CHAPTER 5: CREEPY UNCLE ANDY
Uncle Andy once had been respected and admired, then Mama put a spell on him that changed his life forever. Her spell had robbed him of his pride. Her spell had made him turn to drink. Her spell had caused a scandal that had ended in disgrace.
What goes around will come around, or so the old folks used to say, and I'd become convinced that this was so. The Jenky One had made her peace with creepy Uncle Andy, and the two of them had gotten back together.
I wondered whether Auntie Jenny - a.k.a. "The Jenky One" - knew Uncle Andy's dirty little secret. If she did, she'd buried it with other inconvenient truths. These things were never spoken of, not even among family...
What goes around will come around, or so the old folks used to say, and I'd become convinced that this was so. The Jenky One had made her peace with creepy Uncle Andy, and the two of them had gotten back together.
I wondered whether Auntie Jenny - a.k.a. "The Jenky One" - knew Uncle Andy's dirty little secret. If she did, she'd buried it with other inconvenient truths. These things were never spoken of, not even among family...
CHAPTER 6: THE JENKY ONE
Have you ever wanted something that you knew you couldn't have? If so, perhaps you'll understand what happened. I'd only let my guard down for a moment. All I ever wanted was to be somebody else.
I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I shivered in my lonely bed. Then suddenly, I felt the old man's spirit. For once, I welcomed Papa's psychic meddling. My fingers started tingling as he sent me back in time...
By noon, there was blood on the cotton. Her linsey shift was drenched with sweat. Her swollen, bleeding fingers were beginning to go numb. Soon they would feel nothing, and that would be a mercy. Odessa couldn't think about tomorrow...
I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I shivered in my lonely bed. Then suddenly, I felt the old man's spirit. For once, I welcomed Papa's psychic meddling. My fingers started tingling as he sent me back in time...
By noon, there was blood on the cotton. Her linsey shift was drenched with sweat. Her swollen, bleeding fingers were beginning to go numb. Soon they would feel nothing, and that would be a mercy. Odessa couldn't think about tomorrow...
CHAPTER 7: ONE BY ONE
One by one, my relatives had wandered back into my life, drawn to me like moths are drawn to fire. Even though they feared me just as they had feared my mother, the primal bonds of blood were even stronger.
"Everyone has secrets," Uncle Andy murmured softly, his dark eyes snapping smugly with a secret of his own. My heart began to beat a little faster, and I began to wish that I had never come to see him...
"Everyone has secrets," Uncle Andy murmured softly, his dark eyes snapping smugly with a secret of his own. My heart began to beat a little faster, and I began to wish that I had never come to see him...
CHAPTER 8: SECRETS AND LIES
One by one, my secrets and my lies were catching up with me. The house of cards that I had built was falling into ruin. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but even as I did so, I felt the old man's spirit as it gathered in the darkness.
"You no can run away from me!" Papa hissed insistently. I shuddered as his psychic fingers trespassed on my mind. I knew that it was useless to resist him. I sighed with resignation as he whisked me back in time...
They didn't jump the broom as was the custom in the quarters, nor did they ask Old Master for his leave. The house hands didn't bring them goodies pilfered from the Big House, nor did their kinfolk make a "marriage stew." There was no celebration on the day they formed their union, and no one came to offer them their blessings. Emory Joe and Black Odessa simply started shacking in the shack that Joe had built to share with Birdie...
"You no can run away from me!" Papa hissed insistently. I shuddered as his psychic fingers trespassed on my mind. I knew that it was useless to resist him. I sighed with resignation as he whisked me back in time...
They didn't jump the broom as was the custom in the quarters, nor did they ask Old Master for his leave. The house hands didn't bring them goodies pilfered from the Big House, nor did their kinfolk make a "marriage stew." There was no celebration on the day they formed their union, and no one came to offer them their blessings. Emory Joe and Black Odessa simply started shacking in the shack that Joe had built to share with Birdie...
CHAPTER 9: UNCLE ANDY'S REVENGE
Even though I knew my uncle secretly detested me, I still went to visit him on Sunday afternoons. He'd become dependent on our weekly get-togethers, more so now than ever now that he was all alone.
"Beggers can't be choosers," Uncle Andy often stated. I knew he was referring to my visits when he said it. But he'd become so lonely since The Jenky One had left him that he called the operator just to hear a woman's voice.
The August sun was blazing in the cloudless azure sky above, but suddenly, I felt an eerie chill. My scalp began to tingle and I felt a strange foreboding as I knocked on Uncle Andy's wide front door...
"Beggers can't be choosers," Uncle Andy often stated. I knew he was referring to my visits when he said it. But he'd become so lonely since The Jenky One had left him that he called the operator just to hear a woman's voice.
The August sun was blazing in the cloudless azure sky above, but suddenly, I felt an eerie chill. My scalp began to tingle and I felt a strange foreboding as I knocked on Uncle Andy's wide front door...
Coming soon...
VOODOO LEGACY III
THE UNREPENTANT WITCH
VOODOO LEGACY III
THE UNREPENTANT WITCH
BOOK III in the VOODOO LEGACY TRILOGY will soon be available in paperback. Keep reading for a preview of Book III!
PREVIEW TO VOODOO LEGACY III: THE UNREPENTANT WITCH. The following website material has been excerpted from VOODOO LEGACY: A TRILOGY OF HORROR, copyright 2014, Red Triangle Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by an information storage and retrieval system without permission from the publisher. For information, please Contact Brownie.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
Chapter 1: THE VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD
Chapter 2: RUBY PEARL SADIE MABLE OCEOLA SMITH
Chapter 3: WHO AM I?
Chapter 4: MEMORIES
Chapter 5: THE WOMAN IN THE MIRROR
Chapter 6: THE MILLIES
Chapter 7: THAT CHILD WAS ME
Chapter 8: THE OTHERS
Chapter 9: I'M BACK...
Chapter 1: THE VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD
Chapter 2: RUBY PEARL SADIE MABLE OCEOLA SMITH
Chapter 3: WHO AM I?
Chapter 4: MEMORIES
Chapter 5: THE WOMAN IN THE MIRROR
Chapter 6: THE MILLIES
Chapter 7: THAT CHILD WAS ME
Chapter 8: THE OTHERS
Chapter 9: I'M BACK...
INTRODUCTION
My story is a legacy of horror and of hope,
a tale about the women in my line.
I have to tell my story now while there's still time to tell it,
for when I'm gone, my story will be over.
I have sealed all my babies in the nidus of my womb, you see,
for this disdainful world has grown unneedful of my kind.
I am a Voodoo woman,
also called a Spirit Doctor.
To be a Spirit Doctor is to practice good for others.
Though much maligned and ridiculed today,
there was a day when "conjures" were respected and revered.
Have you the heart to listen to my story,
or will cruel misconceptions make you turn away from me?
Your soul is not an object that I covet.
I only ask to bend your ear awhile before I go...
a tale about the women in my line.
I have to tell my story now while there's still time to tell it,
for when I'm gone, my story will be over.
I have sealed all my babies in the nidus of my womb, you see,
for this disdainful world has grown unneedful of my kind.
I am a Voodoo woman,
also called a Spirit Doctor.
To be a Spirit Doctor is to practice good for others.
Though much maligned and ridiculed today,
there was a day when "conjures" were respected and revered.
Have you the heart to listen to my story,
or will cruel misconceptions make you turn away from me?
Your soul is not an object that I covet.
I only ask to bend your ear awhile before I go...
CHAPTER 1: THE VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD
Fifty years had come and gone since I'd escaped from Watts, yet there I was, right back where I had started. The face of Watts had been transformed, especially on the East Side, but the tension in the sultry air was just as thick as ever. Malice seemed to hover like a dark, portentous cloud fed by half a million tempers that were waiting to explode. The stench of deprivation seemed to haunt the new millennium just as it had when I was growing up.
Red-eyed juiceheads staggered in and out of busy liquor stores. Dead-eyed women sold themselves to feed their hungry habits. Hard-eyed children carried guns and killed without compunction. I could feel their hopelessness as I drove south on Central. This was Watts, the root of every nightmare I had ever had. Watts, the hell I thought that I had left behind forever.
I parked my rented Nissan, then I slipped into my hotel room. I pulled the heavy drapes across the windows. I turned a battered TV on and stepped out of my too-tight shoes. I closed my eyes and let my body flop onto the bed.
The TV squawked and flickered, but I neither saw nor heard it as I wrestled with the voice inside my head. The voice belonged to Papa, and as it echoed in my brain, I knew I'd have to silence it before it drove me mad. I'd fought that voice for fifty years. I thought I had defeated it, but lately, it had started getting stronger. Tonight I'd visit Papa in his dreary little basement home. Before tomorrow, one of us would die...
Red-eyed juiceheads staggered in and out of busy liquor stores. Dead-eyed women sold themselves to feed their hungry habits. Hard-eyed children carried guns and killed without compunction. I could feel their hopelessness as I drove south on Central. This was Watts, the root of every nightmare I had ever had. Watts, the hell I thought that I had left behind forever.
I parked my rented Nissan, then I slipped into my hotel room. I pulled the heavy drapes across the windows. I turned a battered TV on and stepped out of my too-tight shoes. I closed my eyes and let my body flop onto the bed.
The TV squawked and flickered, but I neither saw nor heard it as I wrestled with the voice inside my head. The voice belonged to Papa, and as it echoed in my brain, I knew I'd have to silence it before it drove me mad. I'd fought that voice for fifty years. I thought I had defeated it, but lately, it had started getting stronger. Tonight I'd visit Papa in his dreary little basement home. Before tomorrow, one of us would die...
CHAPTER 2: RUBY PEARL SADIE MABLE OCEOLA SMITH
Ruby Pearl Sadie Mable Oceola Smith was like a shattered mirror, her psyche a collage of mismatched pieces. "Crazy Oceola" frightened everyone who knew of her, but most of all, she terrified young Andy.
Sweet Ruby was a gentle soul, her dark eyes filled with kindness. She never turned her back on anyone who needed help. When strangers came with outstretched hands, she gave them what she had to give, though Andy often went without his supper.
Big Pearl was a bully with a huge chip on her shoulder, and woe to anyone who dared to trespass in her space. She beat poor Andy brutally and criticized him constantly. He couldn't even find the nerve to look her in the eye.
Sad Sadie wept and cowered in a corner of their one-room shack, and nothing Andy did could seem to bring her any comfort. Her misery was so acute, she moaned and wailed in her sleep. Her moaning would haunt Andy's dreams forever.
Mad Mable shrieked and railed at invisible tormentors, but she couldn't see the little boy who crouched before her eyes. She ranted and she raved at things that no one else could see or hear. She blamed her inner demons for her failure to find love.
Ruby Pearl Sadie Mable Oceola Smith was stuffed with people who competed for dominion. When Pearl, in a fit of pique, set Ruby's coat on fire, it was Crazy Oceola who got burned. When Mable, stalked by demons, slashed Big Pearl with a butcher knife, Crazy Oceola bled for days. Though Oceola never knew about her raging multiples, they knew her even better than she'd ever known herself. They studied her, and as they did, they grew a little stronger, and that's why little Andy always slept with one eye open...
Sweet Ruby was a gentle soul, her dark eyes filled with kindness. She never turned her back on anyone who needed help. When strangers came with outstretched hands, she gave them what she had to give, though Andy often went without his supper.
Big Pearl was a bully with a huge chip on her shoulder, and woe to anyone who dared to trespass in her space. She beat poor Andy brutally and criticized him constantly. He couldn't even find the nerve to look her in the eye.
Sad Sadie wept and cowered in a corner of their one-room shack, and nothing Andy did could seem to bring her any comfort. Her misery was so acute, she moaned and wailed in her sleep. Her moaning would haunt Andy's dreams forever.
Mad Mable shrieked and railed at invisible tormentors, but she couldn't see the little boy who crouched before her eyes. She ranted and she raved at things that no one else could see or hear. She blamed her inner demons for her failure to find love.
Ruby Pearl Sadie Mable Oceola Smith was stuffed with people who competed for dominion. When Pearl, in a fit of pique, set Ruby's coat on fire, it was Crazy Oceola who got burned. When Mable, stalked by demons, slashed Big Pearl with a butcher knife, Crazy Oceola bled for days. Though Oceola never knew about her raging multiples, they knew her even better than she'd ever known herself. They studied her, and as they did, they grew a little stronger, and that's why little Andy always slept with one eye open...
CHAPTER 3: WHO AM I?
I looked down at the body that was crumpled on the littered street, watching as a crimson circle spread around its head. My heart ached with compassion for the woman who was lying there, the victim of a vicious hit-and-run.
I knelt to see if there was anything that I could do for her. I knew that she was dying very quickly. Her body looked so fragile as I watched the life drain out of it. Then suddenly, I recognized the shoes that she was wearing.
Those too-tight shoes belonged to me, as did the crumpled body. I was the luckless woman who'd been hit and left to die. A cockroach raced across the street. A stray dog howled forlornly. I heard a siren's distant wail in those, my final moments...
I knelt to see if there was anything that I could do for her. I knew that she was dying very quickly. Her body looked so fragile as I watched the life drain out of it. Then suddenly, I recognized the shoes that she was wearing.
Those too-tight shoes belonged to me, as did the crumpled body. I was the luckless woman who'd been hit and left to die. A cockroach raced across the street. A stray dog howled forlornly. I heard a siren's distant wail in those, my final moments...
CHAPTER 4: MEMORIES
I woke up from a nightmare that I couldn't quite remember, then I remembered where I was and shuddered. The sheets were slick beneath me, and I knew that I had soiled myself. I felt ashamed and thoroughly disgusted.
Then suddenly, the world turned black and shame turned into terror. My heart began to hammer in the darkness. I heard a sharp, disgusted gasp and felt a vise around my wrist. I writhed in pain and wailed as the world grew even blacker.
"You done shat yourself again!" an angry voice shrilled stridently. "I'm gonna have to put a hurtin' on you!"
I felt hot breath against my cheek. My bladder emptied in a rush. My eyes, fear-blinded, wouldn't see the horrible beast-monster. It threw me up against the wall. It pummeled me unmercifully. I tasted blood, and then it was upon me once again...
I remembered Mama with a shudder of revulsion and an overwhelming sense of dread, forgotten but familiar. I remembered how it felt to cower, howling mindlessly, the target of a beating that, it seemed, would never end. I remembered hearing words more savage than the cruelest blows, words that made me feel that I did not deserve to live. Words that sowed the ugly seeds of withering self-hatred. Words that would oppress my heart forever...
Then suddenly, the world turned black and shame turned into terror. My heart began to hammer in the darkness. I heard a sharp, disgusted gasp and felt a vise around my wrist. I writhed in pain and wailed as the world grew even blacker.
"You done shat yourself again!" an angry voice shrilled stridently. "I'm gonna have to put a hurtin' on you!"
I felt hot breath against my cheek. My bladder emptied in a rush. My eyes, fear-blinded, wouldn't see the horrible beast-monster. It threw me up against the wall. It pummeled me unmercifully. I tasted blood, and then it was upon me once again...
I remembered Mama with a shudder of revulsion and an overwhelming sense of dread, forgotten but familiar. I remembered how it felt to cower, howling mindlessly, the target of a beating that, it seemed, would never end. I remembered hearing words more savage than the cruelest blows, words that made me feel that I did not deserve to live. Words that sowed the ugly seeds of withering self-hatred. Words that would oppress my heart forever...
CHAPTER 5: THE WOMAN IN THE MIRROR
I woke up with an agonizing pounding in my temples. I felt an urgent burning in my bowels. I scurried to the bathroom as a wave of sickness shook me. I made it to the toilet, though the effort made me tremble.
I gave myself a sponge bath, then I drank some water from the tap. I frowned at my reflection in the mirror. I didn't recognize the pale face that glowered back at me beneath a bulging turban of white bandages. Its dark green eyes were flashing with unwavering defiance. Its lips slid sideways with disdain. Its nostrils flared irately. I couldn't help but laugh at my irascible reflection, and I saw a glint of humor in its eyes.
I hobbled back to bed, still laughing at the woman in the mirror. Her face was like an open book on which her life was written. She'd spent her life defying something I could not remember. I wanted to find out what that had been.
Her querulous expression masked a kind and giving nature. The hardness in her eyes belied the softness in her heart. Unbowed by life, unawed by death, she'd marched to her own drummer. I found her brash defiance unexpectedly endearing.
I was the woman in the mirror, unbowed by life, unawed by death. I was the angry maverick, the feisty nonconformist. The awful pounding in my head became a gentle tapping, and I felt a subtle current of well-being...
I gave myself a sponge bath, then I drank some water from the tap. I frowned at my reflection in the mirror. I didn't recognize the pale face that glowered back at me beneath a bulging turban of white bandages. Its dark green eyes were flashing with unwavering defiance. Its lips slid sideways with disdain. Its nostrils flared irately. I couldn't help but laugh at my irascible reflection, and I saw a glint of humor in its eyes.
I hobbled back to bed, still laughing at the woman in the mirror. Her face was like an open book on which her life was written. She'd spent her life defying something I could not remember. I wanted to find out what that had been.
Her querulous expression masked a kind and giving nature. The hardness in her eyes belied the softness in her heart. Unbowed by life, unawed by death, she'd marched to her own drummer. I found her brash defiance unexpectedly endearing.
I was the woman in the mirror, unbowed by life, unawed by death. I was the angry maverick, the feisty nonconformist. The awful pounding in my head became a gentle tapping, and I felt a subtle current of well-being...
CHAPTER 6: THE MILLIES
Theola screamed in pain and rage, but Papa smiled smugly as he yanked the tiny twins into this world. They howled when they were parted while he cut their cords and cleaned them up, but when he placed them side by side, they wriggled with contentment.
Oceola watched as Papa held the newborn babies, wishing he could love her just a little, just one time. A tear escaped, and then another, followed by another, but Oceola never made a sound. She touched his mind with psychic fingers, willing him to sense the things she couldn't seem to find the words to tell him. But Papa's mind was closed to her, as always. He didn't even know that she was there...
Oceola watched as Papa held the newborn babies, wishing he could love her just a little, just one time. A tear escaped, and then another, followed by another, but Oceola never made a sound. She touched his mind with psychic fingers, willing him to sense the things she couldn't seem to find the words to tell him. But Papa's mind was closed to her, as always. He didn't even know that she was there...
CHAPTER 7: THAT CHILD WAS ME
The little girl named Brownie Smith who'd disappeared so long ago was coming back, and there was nothing I could do to stop her. I really didn't have a choice. I had to trust these people. For once, I had to tell the truth, and damn the consequences.
I started talking rapidly as memories assailed me. The more I talked, the more I could remember. I saw myself as I had been before I'd run away from Watts, and what I saw brought tears of desperation to my eyes.
I told them about Mama and the vicious spells that she had cast. I told them what it really meant to be a Spirit Doctor. I told them what it felt like to be trapped between two warring worlds, to know that no one wanted you, that you did not belong. But when I looked into their eyes, their anxious, disbelieving eyes, I knew that I'd been wrong to trust these people. They couldn't help me, after all. My truth, to them, was lunacy. I should have lied, as usual. Sometimes a lie is better...
I started talking rapidly as memories assailed me. The more I talked, the more I could remember. I saw myself as I had been before I'd run away from Watts, and what I saw brought tears of desperation to my eyes.
I told them about Mama and the vicious spells that she had cast. I told them what it really meant to be a Spirit Doctor. I told them what it felt like to be trapped between two warring worlds, to know that no one wanted you, that you did not belong. But when I looked into their eyes, their anxious, disbelieving eyes, I knew that I'd been wrong to trust these people. They couldn't help me, after all. My truth, to them, was lunacy. I should have lied, as usual. Sometimes a lie is better...
CHAPTER 8: THE OTHERS
The years had not been kind to Cousin Ernie. Poverty had turned my cousin old before her time. I almost didn't recognize the woman Joanie ushered in until I saw the kindness in her large, compelling eyes.
"Brownie, is that really you?" she asked as she reached out to me. I took her in my arms, and I could feel her shoulders shaking. I knew that she was crying for the little girl that I'd once been. Perhaps the years had not been kind to either one of us...
"Brownie, is that really you?" she asked as she reached out to me. I took her in my arms, and I could feel her shoulders shaking. I knew that she was crying for the little girl that I'd once been. Perhaps the years had not been kind to either one of us...
CHAPTER 9: I'M BACK...
I remember everything. My mind belongs to me again. The accident has given me a wondrous new perspective. No longer am I running from the truth of who and what I am. I now embrace my legacy. I know I'm meant to be here.
We Spirit Doctors are a race of eerie protohumans, and extinction should have wiped us out ten thousand years ago. Our brains had not evolved enough to ideate the future, so like animals, we lived from day to day. The future was a thing that simply happened to our people until Forward-Looking Father with his forward-looking vision. I used to wonder whether I had forward-looking vision - I am absolutely certain that I do!
Even so, I know my kind is destined for extinction. The fact is, we are throwbacks on the chain of evolution. As I think about the few surviving members of my family, I can see the end of Dorie Annie's line.
Uncle Andy, impotent and terrified of women, never managed to produce a son or daughter of his own. Auntie Jenny's only child, Treacherous Serena, died before she could deliver what was growing in her womb. Auntie Ida Mae had but one child, Cousin Ernestine, but Cousin Ernie's only son would never be a father. I, of course, have never had a daughter to extend the line. The legacy will die with me, and that is as it should be...
We Spirit Doctors are a race of eerie protohumans, and extinction should have wiped us out ten thousand years ago. Our brains had not evolved enough to ideate the future, so like animals, we lived from day to day. The future was a thing that simply happened to our people until Forward-Looking Father with his forward-looking vision. I used to wonder whether I had forward-looking vision - I am absolutely certain that I do!
Even so, I know my kind is destined for extinction. The fact is, we are throwbacks on the chain of evolution. As I think about the few surviving members of my family, I can see the end of Dorie Annie's line.
Uncle Andy, impotent and terrified of women, never managed to produce a son or daughter of his own. Auntie Jenny's only child, Treacherous Serena, died before she could deliver what was growing in her womb. Auntie Ida Mae had but one child, Cousin Ernestine, but Cousin Ernie's only son would never be a father. I, of course, have never had a daughter to extend the line. The legacy will die with me, and that is as it should be...
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